Sol
itude on Mercury: Reflections of a Gemini Mercury, the planet closest to the sun, is often described as a barren and inhospitable place, with temperatures that swing from hot enough to melt lead to cold enough to freeze nitrogen. But as a Gemini, I have always felt a strange affinity with this planet. Perhaps it's because Mercury is known as the planet of communication and I am a born communicator. Perhaps it's because Mercury's orbit is so eccentric, reminding me of my own mercurial nature. But I think the real reason is because, like Mercury, I often feel alone in a crowded universe. As a Gemini, I have many acquaintances but few true friends. I enjoy socializing and can easily strike up a conversation with anyone, but I find it hard to form deep connections with people. I am a chameleon, adapting myself to the different personalities around me, but never revealing my true self. I am afraid that if people see the real me - the vulnerable, emotional, and solitary me - they will reject me. So I keep up a façade of friendliness and cheerfulness, even when I am feeling sad or anxious. On Mercury, I imagine myself as a lone explorer, wandering over the sun-scorched plains and exploring the craters and cliffs. I am not afraid of the dangers or the solitude, because they are familiar to me. I know how to survive on my own, how to entertain myself with my own thoughts, how to find beauty in the desolation. The harsh and unforgiving environment of Mercury appeals to my sense of adventure and my need for challenge. But at the same time, I long for connection. I long for someone who truly understands me, who accepts me for who I am, who shares my passions and dreams. I know that this person may be out there somewhere, but I don't know how to find them. I am afraid to open up, to risk rejection, to expose my vulnerability. I am afraid that I will never find the kind of deep, meaningful relationship that I crave. So I continue to wander on Mercury, alone but not lonely, searching for companionship but content with myself. I am a paradox, a twin, a solitaire. I am a Gemini on Mercury, a reflection of the planet I call home.